Ouch!

So this morning was more an assesment than a full on workout. Which is good since I discovered how horrible in shap I really am. My weigh in was 250 with 36.5 percent body fat and 18 on the internal fat which is what surrounds the internal organs. That number is dangerous according to the trainer and needs to come down fast. So I guess its good I'm doing this! Mid way through my session I was doing one exercise and tweaked my back so we had to stop. It sucked. It still hurts. I'm just starting and have tweaked my back. This will be harder than I thought. It's my own fault. I let myself get to this point. I'm going to sign up for personal sessions for two weeks. I think this is a smart move becasue it will re-introduce my body back to working out before going crazy with a boot camp. But this is a good move and a needed one. I told the trainer today I would feel shitty if I died because I'm out of shape and overweight because that's something I could have done something about. where as if a car hits me there's nothing I can do about that really. He said "Well you are doing something by being here." So let's hope my back was just a small tweak not a major one and that I will be ready to go next week.

Tomorrow it begins!

I'm slightly nervous. I'm sure it will be fine. I'm not sure if I'm doing this one on one the first time or with a group. The normal class is a group and I'm guessing this is too. Guess I'll find out. Going to hit the bed to get a decent amount of sleep now. Goodnite!

Are you scared?

So I've done it. I signed up for a boot camp. I'm quite terrified actually. Not of going to boot camp itself, but of the work out in store for me. I am in miserable shape. I have visions of dying right there in the park. I know these are unfounded. I'm sure it will be hard but it won't kill me. And ultimately it will make me into the person I desire to be. Fact is I need this boost. I need to feel good again. About my body, health and spirit. They are all broken. I am praying for steady success and initial speedy results to give me the boost in motivation so I'll add new exercises like rock climbing, running, etc. Next summer I want to be the first summer I am excited to go to the beach because I have nothing to hide. I am still on level one of my game, but I just bought a power up. I have orientation Thursday morning. I'll let you know how it goes.

Back On Track!

So today I started back on track to a fit version of myself. I've needed a new pair of shoes for some time now. A good pair of shoes is key for proper exercise. I love New Balance shoes so I hit the store and got myself these!

Now I'm ready to start working towards my goal. Goals are hard to achieve, but when I reach mine I will look back and be proud. No one ever has reached a goal and thought, I wish I didn't do that!

I'm following South Beach Diet for a couple of weeks. I love this diet because the weight flies off if you follow it. Something I have failed to do recently! Today I was good though. I stayed on track and followed my rules of the Skinny Pumpkin. Which btw I have updated slightly.

I'm still viewing this weight loss as a game. Even in games you get stuck sometimes. I'm going to take each day on it's own and at the end of the day ask myself:

Did you keep to your diet?

Did you exercise?

Did you follow the Skinny Pumpkin rules?

Did you feel good about yourself?

Will you promise to do you best in following these tomorrow?

Hopefully the answer to those will always be Yes until I reach my goal. Even if they aren't, that's ok. I just need to keep trying and not give up when I do get off track.

What the heck Happened?

I've been MIA, I know. I have felt guilty because just as I started I failed and didn't want to write about failure. It's easy to post successes. It's the failures that make you want to hide. Today at lunch with my friend(who follows this blog), she mentioned she hadn't seen any updates in awhile.When I told her why I hadn't wrote she said not writing is the same thing as saying I'm not on track. She's totally right. I need to get back on track.

I'm looking right now to try and join a month boot camp to kick start my fitness. I feel like I need a boost to get going. trying it just on my own has been harder than I thought.

I'm going to try to start writing again. It might not be every day. That's reallly a hard discipline! But it will be a few times a week to check in.

Thanks Eva for your support and the kick in the butt to keep trying!

Day 10

Back on track, but finding it challenging. I think with the current heat wave it's messing with my desire to exercise. But I'm pushing forward. I was looking into a bootcamp class today. I take walks along the beach sometimes in the morning and saw this class. I looked them up, but its $900 for 3 months! That's just crazy. Especially when its a full class of people. Thing is if I had that money I'd pay. I will have to keep pushing on my own for now. Maybe save up for when I hit the middle levels of this game and it gets really tough.

Day 8

So today was weigh in day. I'm not going to be posting a pic or measurements because nothing changed. I expected this though with the way the end of hte week went. My diet just wasn't on track and I fully admit I let it get off track. I am glad I did my workouts last week.

So this week I will be trying to focus on the diet side. One thing I realized is sometimes I eat things because its if my mind believes I will never have them again. I need to realize that the foods I crave and love can be a part of my diet again eventually, but for now they need to be cut out so I can beat this game.

So tomorrow I will be be fully back on track. I do have to say I wish it was cooler right now. LA is having a horrible heat wave. Hottest day on record since tempature has been recorded! That's just crazy! It makes doing home workout a little more challenging. I don't have AC. But I will look at it as i will sweat more bad stuff out of me right?